More. Less.

I am trapped.

I am trapped in my mind.

It has become a place where thoughts can neither enter nor leave, where ideas slumber but do not wake from their dreamless sleep.

And life goes on. There are happy things that make me smile, that make me cry. They wash over me without catching my attention - life trying its best to find its place in this world.

It's comfortable here, in this place, in this dreamless, thoughtless sleep. I cannot find reason to waken, though I know there is much to see beyond the clouded glass that envelopes me.

The cold icy walk, the pile of work, the broken furnace, the wrong notes, the rotten tomatoes, the disappointments.....all of this was fine.

But going to bed at 1am and reaching up to turn off the light.....only to find a large non-squishable spider two inches from my forehead??

I hate Mondays.

Today, I love...

...silver beads on flowing blue dresses, funky graphs, wrinkled childhood letters rediscovered in fading shoeboxes, rotation matrices, rice tea, the orange of a winter sunrise, fuzzy socks, warm knitted mittens, borrowed books, chocolate icing on coconut cake.

To break the silence

It has stretched on and on, a beginning lost beneath summer leaves that reddened and fell, no promise of end in flurries of snow. A silence, of words and thoughts.

As each moment slides by, the silence becomes more and more difficult to break.

Was it a simple "sorry" that hangs above us unsaid; a wedge that pushes us apart? An unreplied email, a promise to "give me a call"? When we can no longer see around the corners, we simply drift away.

When did I start letting fear stop me from being the person that I want to be?

Life is too good, too fleeting, for words like these.

Hemitritaios

"Write on a piece of parchment the word abracadabra, and then repeat it again and again underneath, each time leaving one letter off until just the a is left - this will be in the form of a triangle. Then hang it about the neck of the patient with a linen cord. Some people recommend lion's fat. But if you want to attach a necklace of coral, do not hesitate to add some real emeralds and a pearl precious for its snowy colour. Attach such necklaces to the patient and they will drive off mortal diseases with their marvellous potency" - Quintus Serenus, Book of Medicine (Third Century A.B)

ABRACADABRA
ABRACADABR
ABRACADAB
ABRACADA
ABRACAD
ABRACA
ABRAC
ABRA
ABR
AB
A